C + J 4evs

For the past few days I’ve been holing up in my pad, my only form of communication being Facebook chatrooms and my parents’ calls and the only persons I talked to personally are the counter at 7eleven and Savemore. And I feel okay with it, not bored, not having the ultimate time. Just, fine.

I spend time reading books, reading blogs, logging in on facebook, checking the newsfeed, realizing that it’s a waste of time, logging out and then logging in again after a few minutes, writing posts and watching movies.

Yesterday I saw Celeste and Jesse Forever, and the film is such an eye candy. It made me laugh and it made me cry and it made me realize that effortless-relationships, be it friendship or romantic ones, simply do not exist. I have the immature belief before that you can just “hit it off” with someone the first time you meet them. That there are certain people who are meant to be your friends and you WILL be friends even if you don’t do anything. And while the “hitting off” is sometimes true, every relationship needs effort (communicating, lending a hand, being there, yeah, those are counted).

As time goes by, you learn something about the other that makes you think about your initial assessment. First impressions don’t always last and you might later find out that he hates something you love, or worse, that you hate something he does. Now, if you didn’t invest anything in the relationship then it would be really easy for you to cut off the ties. It’s the contrary when you’ve put in time and emotions. Instead of thinking of a way out when the first sign of dispute presents itself, you’ll think of a way to preserve the relationship because hey, that’s sunk cost fallacy. In short, if you do not invest anything then most probably, what you have are shallow and dispensable relationships.

Besides, you can’t be happy if all you do is sit pretty.

But I digress because the film is really about a husband and a wife who decided to end their marriage and keep the friendship. This is what happens after the “happily ever after”. While I don’t believe in the dissolution of marriage (because what God has united, no man can separate), what I like most about the film is its plausibility, none of those formula rom-coms have nowadays. And I think most people can relate because the dispute between the lovers is simply difference in their life aspirations — the girl’s a successful woman who thinks she’s smarter than everyone else while the guy’s an unemployed artist. No bitchy in-laws, no heaven and earth social stature, no short term memory loss and etc.

Its bittersweet conclusion is simply that, bittersweet. On one hand you want them to end up together (again), on the other you want to be comforted that some things, even though they are perfect very compatible, won’t work if the persons involved are not motivated enough to make it work and the best thing to do is move on.

And I love the soundtrack. 

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