Reading books gives us the privilege to live many lives, almost all of them more adventurous and fun than the reality we currently lead. Indulging in a good story has a calming and amnesiac effect because the plot is so twisted and engrossing or the words are so perfectly put together we forget to eat and to pee. And if it can make us overlook physical needs then it sure as hell can spare us, albeit for a few minutes (or hours) only, the worries as well as the painful general monotony of life.
I’ve read countless times, “get lost in the pages” (and a dozen other varieties). I sometimes don’t think we get lost in books. Instead, we find ourselves in them.
I will find refuge in between those celebrated pages because today, exactly two months since I received my first rejection letter via e-mail, I received another one.
Maybe I am sensationalizing my rejected applications but it’s my way of coping so back off. And it may be too early to say but I am experiencing the desensitizing effect of repeated exposures to a stimuli. The first rejection two months ago bothered me and made me question my kakayahan. This one made me sad for about 5 minutes. In fact, I have moved on as I am typing this.
Grabe. How I wish I experienced consecutive failures at an early age. Maybe I would not have been so scared of trying or so paralyzed by losing in my teenage years. Maybe I would not have beaten myself so hard over not knowing who the highest paid model in the world is just because it was a question in the difficult round of a regional Quiz Bee and I was points away from sweet victory (it’s Gisele Bundchen by the way, topping the list since 2004).
Before, my prayers always consisted of winning and wanting and having. Now, I pray for strength to overcome the many more rejections and failures that will come my way, wisdom to learn from them, courage to try again, patience in things that seem forever to take, and faith in the Lord’s plan for me.